stop calling my apartment porn island.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
