I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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