apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
