You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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