Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They took my balls.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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