don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i came on her dog
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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