god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
