mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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