omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
