I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
