Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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