i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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