Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You're like the curious george of whores
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
