Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
