At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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