Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
