Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
