I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
