Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
