I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
