Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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