In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
