I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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