No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
