plz talk dirty to me
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There r osticjed everywhere
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
