Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
