I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
