we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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