Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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