why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
