Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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