even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
