she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
