I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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