this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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