I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
