Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
