weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
