Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
