herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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