Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
