why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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