I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
