Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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