I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is Oprah even human
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
