...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
