Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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