based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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