Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
