You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
