She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
