his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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