How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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