I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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